I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
