Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize