He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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