wat bout pragnant strippers??
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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