NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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