It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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