i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize