Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
