Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
