I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
