Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
