everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
