i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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