Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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