So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
