just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
