I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
