it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We need to get me chipped asap
he just fucked me for my cheese.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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