I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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