I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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