there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
