when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
