There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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