the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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