That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
