My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
