eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
