we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
