Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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