im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
