Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
