So drunk its hurt
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
