yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
