with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i dont even know how to be here
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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