I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
how does that bad decision feel?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
