my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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