i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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