we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
