Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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