your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
