i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
