covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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