he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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