Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
