good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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