If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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