i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
