the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
