God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
