Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
