Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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