Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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