I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
