I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
