Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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