if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
