hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Alive.
So much puke
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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