right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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