it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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