my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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