You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
