D3 body, D1 cock
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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