me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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