Sry I called you an 8
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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