If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
