He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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