Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize