I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
