Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
