1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
